Why do our hearts and minds fall for the trap of believing that “new is better”?
Keep that in mind as you continue to read...
During the brief time that I was allowing my heart to be turned away from my wife and toward another, this was a primary thought in my head. Matter of fact, the more I thought about it, the more I believed it. I began comparing everything between my wife and this other woman. I compared personality, ambitions, dreams, appearance, experiences, and nearly everything that would have been available to compare.
Make sure not to get me wrong on what I am about to say.
It was exactly how I feel about things like my cell phone or my car. Most of you know precisely what I am talking about, and if you have somehow convinced yourself that you don’t know what I am talking about then most likely you are lying to yourself. We always want the new thing! For the last couple months, I have been a Palm Pre user. The phone is truly great! I love all that I can do with it, love most everything about it...until I see an ad for the iPhone, or when I walk into the Sprint store and see the phones that come with the new Google Android technology. How is it that I can look at a REALLY NICE phone in my hand and think it’s not enough?
Here’s the truth: I want the new phone because the new phone makes me feel new or better without actually having to work for it.
When it came to my marriage, I wanted something new. Want to know why?
- New meant starting over (at least in my mind).
- New meant that I didn’t have to improve my own heart or character to see growth in my relationship with Margo.
- New meant I could cycle through “my material” and someone would find me interesting again.
During our process of healing and restoration, I was reminded of something mentioned in Proverbs 18:22, “the man who finds a wife finds a TREASURE and he receives favor from the Lord.”
If you hold the very Word of God to be true, accurate, and beneficial you CANNOT ignore the vast truth of this verse! A wife is a treasure! Not only is she a treasure, she is something that God himself considers to be a treasure! AND THAT’S NOT ALL! The one who finds this treasure receives favor from God!
favor...from God...does that not blow your mind?!
Men - a wife is a treasure. The Bible doesn’t say that you are. She is. Someone who holds a treasure is someone that was counted worthy of having that treasure. God gave you your wife because He believed you to be worthy of caring for and protecting such a wonderful treasure. Men, we have no right to treat our treasure like trash. Love her and lift her up. Remind her of her worth with your words and actions.
And if you don’t like how she’s treating you it’s probably because you have heaped so much trash on your treasure that she is behaving precisely how you have treated her.
Love her and unearth the treasure that God gave you. I did, and she is beautiful.
More tomorrow.
So very true-the new always seems easier, better. But the new soon becomes old and you are back at square one. And if you don't allow God to be your focus, you will only repeat your same mistakes over and over, always blaming everyone else. I have known how much you love Margo but to read this makes me realize the way in which you love her. This love that is found and enriched through God's word can be sustained much more easily.
1 Peter 3:7, In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat her with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God's gift of new life. If you don't treat her as you should, your prayers will not be heard.
Posted by: Sharla | December 07, 2009 at 11:03 PM
Thank you very much for your willingness to share your journey with us. None of us are as strong as we think we are. We long to do what's "right" yet struggle with finding our own sense of acceptance, peace, love. Blessed to know you and Margo; people who seek to allow the Lord to reign in their lives and are willing to swallow their pride so that we can all benefit. Randy and I ARE benefitting. May God continue to reveal Himself to all of us!
Posted by: Amanda Thress | December 08, 2009 at 03:08 PM
"nearly every problem that arises in a relationship is rooted in selfishness."
THANK YOU for that reminder...it is at the forefront of my thoughts since I read this post yesterday
jen (a friend of the Thress fam.)
Posted by: jen harrell | December 08, 2009 at 11:27 PM