The Story - Part Eight

This journey is going to take a turn.  While there is definitely going to be focus still on marriage, I am also going to add an element of "community" to the conversation, as well as parenting.  When you think about it, they all still go hand in hand.  So read on, think deeply, be changed.

I had left off at explaining the dangers of work toward a marriage...especially ministry.  For many reasons, I am glad that I didn't write this post several weeks ago.  God has taught me some absolutely mind-blowing things about this subject and about myself.

Allow me to reiterate something from Part Seven...

• The main reason you are drawn to the rewards of your work is because you are too lazy to work for the rewards of your marriage.

Go back.  Read that again.  Let it sink in and then continue.

Your job most likely contains very clear systems.  

• You know what is expected of you.  
• You know what you are NOT supposed to do.  
• You know what gets you noticed (for better or worse).  
• You know what gets you fired.  
• You know what gets you promoted...if you're lucky!  
• You know what time to be there.  
• You know how long you are expected to work. 

Your job is full of clarity.  Your marriage, at first look, is not.  It's a world of ambiguitities and conditionals.  Like a recent popular book states it, "Men are Like Waffles - Women are Like Spaghetti".  So how does God expect for men and women to successfully navigate through the mess of ambiguity and emotion and somehow muster up the courage to seek the rewards of a God-honoring marriage?  

Most bloggers, at this point, would use this kind of question to leverage at least two or three days worth of posts.  I don't have time for that.  There are too many other things to talk about.  Besides, there is ONE THING that will take your average marriage that is seemingly void of reward and turn it into something of wonder and beauty. 

Ready?

Surrender.

Don't lose yourself in what I am not saying.  I am not saying "submit woman!".  I am not saying "be a coward!".  But I AM saying surrender your life fully to Christ.  I can almost hear your disagreements now.  Allow me to pierce to the truth of the matter... if you're disagreeing, it's because you've never done it.  Your issue, men especially, is you... 

• don't love your wife as Christ loves you.  
• don't listen to your wife as Christ endures your often selfish prayers.  
• don't lead your wife as Christ leads His Church, with gentleness, patience, passion, power, and grace.  

Why am I not talking about the ladies?  I will, or maybe Margo will.  But for now, I am going to remain focused on men reclaiming who they are in Christ, and giving their lives over to Him.  It is only then you even stand the chance to become the husband you are created to be.  And it is only then you even stand a chance to find your marriage to be the most rewarding aspect of your life.

For starters, try getting before God and just giving YOURSELF over to Him.  Allow God to change YOU, and see if your spouse doesn't seem to respond more rewardingly to the NEW YOU.  Jesus, when talking to Peter along the shore, didn't endure Peter's questions about the other disciple.  He simply told Peter to worry about himself.  I think that's a good place for you to start as well.

More tomorrow.

Comments

[Angie Wheeler]

What a wonderful post Dave- Sean and I, on Sunday, totally surrendered ourselves to God. Amazing and powerful, it was and is. We're praying for you guys. Take care and love to you all.
Angie

[Randy]

Thanks, Dave! I've been focusing on this in my own life --- okay, struggling with this. It was good to have it reiterated by a friend.