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The Story - Part Eight

This journey is going to take a turn.  While there is definitely going to be focus still on marriage, I am also going to add an element of "community" to the conversation, as well as parenting.  When you think about it, they all still go hand in hand.  So read on, think deeply, be changed.

I had left off at explaining the dangers of work toward a marriage...especially ministry.  For many reasons, I am glad that I didn't write this post several weeks ago.  God has taught me some absolutely mind-blowing things about this subject and about myself.

Allow me to reiterate something from Part Seven...

• The main reason you are drawn to the rewards of your work is because you are too lazy to work for the rewards of your marriage.

Go back.  Read that again.  Let it sink in and then continue.

Your job most likely contains very clear systems.  

• You know what is expected of you.  
• You know what you are NOT supposed to do.  
• You know what gets you noticed (for better or worse).  
• You know what gets you fired.  
• You know what gets you promoted...if you're lucky!  
• You know what time to be there.  
• You know how long you are expected to work. 

Your job is full of clarity.  Your marriage, at first look, is not.  It's a world of ambiguitities and conditionals.  Like a recent popular book states it, "Men are Like Waffles - Women are Like Spaghetti".  So how does God expect for men and women to successfully navigate through the mess of ambiguity and emotion and somehow muster up the courage to seek the rewards of a God-honoring marriage?  

Most bloggers, at this point, would use this kind of question to leverage at least two or three days worth of posts.  I don't have time for that.  There are too many other things to talk about.  Besides, there is ONE THING that will take your average marriage that is seemingly void of reward and turn it into something of wonder and beauty. 

Ready?

Surrender.

Don't lose yourself in what I am not saying.  I am not saying "submit woman!".  I am not saying "be a coward!".  But I AM saying surrender your life fully to Christ.  I can almost hear your disagreements now.  Allow me to pierce to the truth of the matter... if you're disagreeing, it's because you've never done it.  Your issue, men especially, is you... 

• don't love your wife as Christ loves you.  
• don't listen to your wife as Christ endures your often selfish prayers.  
• don't lead your wife as Christ leads His Church, with gentleness, patience, passion, power, and grace.  

Why am I not talking about the ladies?  I will, or maybe Margo will.  But for now, I am going to remain focused on men reclaiming who they are in Christ, and giving their lives over to Him.  It is only then you even stand the chance to become the husband you are created to be.  And it is only then you even stand a chance to find your marriage to be the most rewarding aspect of your life.

For starters, try getting before God and just giving YOURSELF over to Him.  Allow God to change YOU, and see if your spouse doesn't seem to respond more rewardingly to the NEW YOU.  Jesus, when talking to Peter along the shore, didn't endure Peter's questions about the other disciple.  He simply told Peter to worry about himself.  I think that's a good place for you to start as well.

More tomorrow.

Renewal

I have been gone from my blog since... March 3rd of this year (had to go back and look!).  The reasons are many, and I am going to be posting a series of blogs over the next few weeks to do the following:

• explain what has been going on in my life and ministry
• share what God has been doing in my life, marriage, family, and ministry
• offer some very serious insights on what God has taught me over the last few months
• share what God has in store for my family and me in the near future

If you have not been a previous reader of my blog, I want to challenge you to check in daily, or better yet, subscribe via RSS or whatever feed or reader you use.  Here's why you need to do this: there is not one person on this planet who is not bombarded by temptation to get off the path that leads to becoming more like Christ.

With that being said, I want to offer my confession.  Many of you already are aware of my failing but for those of you who are not yet aware, here it is:

I had an emotional affair that caused me to lose some people and things that are very dear to me, and almost cost me the most important people and things in my life.

But it didn't.  My marriage is intact, my family is together, and my God still loves me and presses me forward into His image and His future for me.  It is in the light of those truths that I will offer you the entire journey up until now.  I will hold no truth back, except to protect others who were a part of this story.  In the last six weeks, the discoveries and lessons learned have become so clear.  You will most likely see a few guest blogs pop up here from Margo (my wife), and some others who have been a part of this healing and growth process.

Do not miss this.  It may contain the very thing you need to do what Hebrews 12:1 brings as a challenge. The honesty of your comments is welcome and I will be praying for each of you who read over the next few weeks.  May God use my sin, pain, and healing to bring hope, strength, and resolve to your heart. 

Next post tomorrow.

In Love

Today is going to be a wonderful day!  I am leaving the office early, grabbing my princess, jumping in the car and whisking her away!  We are running away together and I cannot wait!  Why am I so excited about this?  Read on...

• The next two days will be the first time that Margo and I have spent time alone together since Emerson was born WITHOUT having to worry about pausing to take time to care for Emmy, having to get up early to start her morning schedule, or having to make sure we're home by a certain time!
• Margo is my best friend on this earth.  I miss her terribly, and I can't wait to reconnect with her and spoil her rotten! 
• We are going to sleep in!  
• I am turning off my cell phone for two days... entirely!  If this doesn't seem much to you, then you need to understand something.  I am a youth pastor.  That means my primary audience is made up of students.  Students don't talk.  They text.  Last month I received 4156 text messages.  That's 134.06 text messages each day (yes, I did the  math)!  I can't wait to turn that thing off! 
• I am not taking my computer.  No email.  No Facebook. No Myspace.  No Twitter.  No MyChurch.  No AIM.  No Skype.  No iChat.  Nothing.  I guess what I am saying is, if you want to get a hold of me, you can't! 

Can you tell I'm excited?!  Here's the funny thing though.  MARGO AND I HAVE GONE NEARLY 18 MONTHS WITHOUT TAKING TIME TO REALLY INVEST IN EACH OTHER AND JUST BE IN LOVE!  For you guys who are reading this, you should beat me senseless.  Seriously.  For the guys who are reading this and you have done the same thing I have, you should be beat senseless too.  For the guys that STILL don't know what I am talking about, PURSUE YOUR WIFE!  

I didn't know how much I missed Margo until I knew we were going to have this time away together.  Guys, it's easy to get caught up in the routine.  And your wife loves you.  She has and will continue to put up with a lot, especially if you're in ministry.  Don't wait until she has to get angry and tell you that she's lonely or that she feels disconnected from you.  Take time with her today.  

And leave a comment for me.  Let me know how you pursued your wife this weekend.  And by the way, I won't be reading it for the next two days!  

Perspective...

So many of you know that we have been struggling with our new home. It's been nothing short of a classic tragedy with all that we have had to deal with. I recently found this clip online that puts it all into perspective. take a look...