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The Story - Part Eight

This journey is going to take a turn.  While there is definitely going to be focus still on marriage, I am also going to add an element of "community" to the conversation, as well as parenting.  When you think about it, they all still go hand in hand.  So read on, think deeply, be changed.

I had left off at explaining the dangers of work toward a marriage...especially ministry.  For many reasons, I am glad that I didn't write this post several weeks ago.  God has taught me some absolutely mind-blowing things about this subject and about myself.

Allow me to reiterate something from Part Seven...

• The main reason you are drawn to the rewards of your work is because you are too lazy to work for the rewards of your marriage.

Go back.  Read that again.  Let it sink in and then continue.

Your job most likely contains very clear systems.  

• You know what is expected of you.  
• You know what you are NOT supposed to do.  
• You know what gets you noticed (for better or worse).  
• You know what gets you fired.  
• You know what gets you promoted...if you're lucky!  
• You know what time to be there.  
• You know how long you are expected to work. 

Your job is full of clarity.  Your marriage, at first look, is not.  It's a world of ambiguitities and conditionals.  Like a recent popular book states it, "Men are Like Waffles - Women are Like Spaghetti".  So how does God expect for men and women to successfully navigate through the mess of ambiguity and emotion and somehow muster up the courage to seek the rewards of a God-honoring marriage?  

Most bloggers, at this point, would use this kind of question to leverage at least two or three days worth of posts.  I don't have time for that.  There are too many other things to talk about.  Besides, there is ONE THING that will take your average marriage that is seemingly void of reward and turn it into something of wonder and beauty. 

Ready?

Surrender.

Don't lose yourself in what I am not saying.  I am not saying "submit woman!".  I am not saying "be a coward!".  But I AM saying surrender your life fully to Christ.  I can almost hear your disagreements now.  Allow me to pierce to the truth of the matter... if you're disagreeing, it's because you've never done it.  Your issue, men especially, is you... 

• don't love your wife as Christ loves you.  
• don't listen to your wife as Christ endures your often selfish prayers.  
• don't lead your wife as Christ leads His Church, with gentleness, patience, passion, power, and grace.  

Why am I not talking about the ladies?  I will, or maybe Margo will.  But for now, I am going to remain focused on men reclaiming who they are in Christ, and giving their lives over to Him.  It is only then you even stand the chance to become the husband you are created to be.  And it is only then you even stand a chance to find your marriage to be the most rewarding aspect of your life.

For starters, try getting before God and just giving YOURSELF over to Him.  Allow God to change YOU, and see if your spouse doesn't seem to respond more rewardingly to the NEW YOU.  Jesus, when talking to Peter along the shore, didn't endure Peter's questions about the other disciple.  He simply told Peter to worry about himself.  I think that's a good place for you to start as well.

More tomorrow.

Renewal

I have been gone from my blog since... March 3rd of this year (had to go back and look!).  The reasons are many, and I am going to be posting a series of blogs over the next few weeks to do the following:

• explain what has been going on in my life and ministry
• share what God has been doing in my life, marriage, family, and ministry
• offer some very serious insights on what God has taught me over the last few months
• share what God has in store for my family and me in the near future

If you have not been a previous reader of my blog, I want to challenge you to check in daily, or better yet, subscribe via RSS or whatever feed or reader you use.  Here's why you need to do this: there is not one person on this planet who is not bombarded by temptation to get off the path that leads to becoming more like Christ.

With that being said, I want to offer my confession.  Many of you already are aware of my failing but for those of you who are not yet aware, here it is:

I had an emotional affair that caused me to lose some people and things that are very dear to me, and almost cost me the most important people and things in my life.

But it didn't.  My marriage is intact, my family is together, and my God still loves me and presses me forward into His image and His future for me.  It is in the light of those truths that I will offer you the entire journey up until now.  I will hold no truth back, except to protect others who were a part of this story.  In the last six weeks, the discoveries and lessons learned have become so clear.  You will most likely see a few guest blogs pop up here from Margo (my wife), and some others who have been a part of this healing and growth process.

Do not miss this.  It may contain the very thing you need to do what Hebrews 12:1 brings as a challenge. The honesty of your comments is welcome and I will be praying for each of you who read over the next few weeks.  May God use my sin, pain, and healing to bring hope, strength, and resolve to your heart. 

Next post tomorrow.

Riches

Last week, while I was out of town for middle school camp, my wife and I stopped by a local church that had an incredible indoor playground.  We needed to let Emerson blow off some steam and go a little crazy for a while, and we needed a break!

The week had just been so good for us as a family, having more time to spend together, watching our students connecting deeply with each other and with God, and spending valuable time with old friends.  I was, and still am, so thankful for that time we were able to spend together!

As we were walking out of the playground, I had our baby girl in my arms, and Margo and I were talking and laughing about something.  As we were nearing the exit, there was an elderly man sitting at a guest services desk.  He was watching us with a kind, warm smile.  And then he said something that has literally changed my world...

"You look like a rich man."

Those words have sunk so deeply into my heart.  As this man saw me with only my wife and daughter, enjoying a happy moment, he saw something that all of us rarely acknowledge.

Do you know where your true wealth lies?  As you think about your riches, consider the vast treasure the Lord has given you in your family.  In those valued relationships, you will find a wealth that could never be measured!  May you find yourself "rich" today!

Managing Pain

I hurt my neck yesterday.  The funny thing is that it was just a turn of the neck to look the other way and I have been in pain for two days now.  I went to the chirocpractor today to try and find some relief, but they told me it's going to be a slow fix... of course.  So, for now, I am left to deal with the pain.

The reason I write this is that I have learned something valuable during this time.  Pain is something we almost learn to abide with.  What I mean is that, once we have endured some type of pain for a while, we often learn to adjust and make room for the pain that we're experiencing.  The only way to truly be rid of the pain, though, is to find the source and bring healing to that area. 

And so goes my life as a follower of Jesus.  Sure, I am not always successful.  Sometimes I let pain take residence in my life, in my heart.  Sometimes I deal with symptoms but not the one thing that is truly causing pain.  But there are those times, those beautiful times... when I get honest with myself.  I deal with the issue with as much fervor and passion as if it were something threatening my very life.  And in the end of those moments, life emerges like I have never experienced it before!

May the pain in my neck be a reminder to us all to be willing to do battle with the pains and hurts that creep into our lives and steal us of the joy that God created us to live in.  No more symptoms, no more vacancy for pain.  Live free.

David